An NYC Salon Has A 1,000 Person Waiting List For a $1,000 Haircut Once They Re-Open

Fox News - The owner of a ritzy hair salon in New York City claims there’s over 1,000 customers on a waiting list for a hair appointment, where cuts can cost as much as $1,000, as the business preps to reopen at a yet-undetermined date amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Julien Farel runs an eponymous salon in the Loews Regency hotel on the Upper East Side, and alleges that more than a thousand clients are clamoring to pay top dollar to put their hair in professional hands.

“We have over 1,000 people on a waiting list,” Farel told Bloomberg in an interview published Wednesday. “85 percent of blondes have disappeared during the pandemic.”

Initially, the salon and spa will only do hair; a haircut with Farel will cost you a cool $1,000, while haircuts with other stylists on staff range from $160 to $400, according to a service list.

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Honestly this makes a ton of sense. If during quarantine I was unable to get a cheeseburger but they told me that the second quarantine ended I could be one of the first 1,000 people to get a cheeseburger in NYC but it'd cost me $100, I'd sign up for it. Some things are more precious than the dollar sign allotted to them. It would be the best god damn cheeseburger of my life if I had to go 4 months without one.

And that's how a lot of people feel about getting their haircut. I mean Jeff D Buttonhook pays $900 (estimating) for a haircut every 2 weeks. Bald fucks like me don't have to worry about that- I either shave it or throw on a hat, whatever, I've given up on having a head of hair, this is 31. But if I did have a nice head of lettuce, I'd be flaunting that stuff left and right, so I don't blame anyone who ponies up the big bucks for a trim. 

It all boils down to this one quote from the salon owner: 

"85 percent of blondes have disappeared during the pandemic.” 

Damn. I didn't even think of that. All the brunettes of the world that have been mis-matching the carpets and drapes this whole time have completely lost their blonde looks and will pay ANYTHING to get it back. It's like in Roller Coaster Tycoon when it rains and you can charge $20 for an umbrella, you can charge these faux-blondes anything to get their blonde back. I fucking love that analogy by the way. No idea why a RCT umbrella analogy came to me in this blog but I love it. Just jacking up those prices, suckers.